reidgfandomcom-20200213-history
Uncle Roy (transcript)
This is a transcript for the Regular Show episode Uncle Roy. Transcript (Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost leave the nursery, holding a lemon tree. High-Five Ghost ties the tree to the golf cart) Muscle Man: Bro, hurry up! Tie it down, we're gonna be late! (Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost jump inside the golf-cart and drive off. A car stops) High-Five Ghost: Go, Go, Go! Take that street! (they make a sharp turn) Muscle Man: We're not gonna make it, we're not gonna make it! (Meanwhile, Benson and Skips are standing around at the park. Benson checks his watch) Benson: I knew it. I knew they'd be late. Muscle Man: This is gonna be close. (Benson and Skips watch over the hill for Mordecai and Rigby, but they're not coming) Benson: That's it. (Benson and Skips approach the cart before MM&HFG suddenly come up driving) High-Five Ghost: (gasps) Dude, we made it! Dude, we made it! (MM&HFG suddenly hit a rock, sending them out of control. They hit a lampost, which the tree is lodged into. High-Five Ghost tries to get it out, but the leaves fall out. MM&HFG pick up the broken tree anyway and show it to Benson and Skips) ''Here's the lemon tree you asked us to pick up. '''Muscle Man:' Right on time. (Benson watches the sole lemon fall off the tree) I think the guy sold us a lemon, know what I'm sayin'? (MM&HFG snicker. Benson turns red and growls, ready to scream, but quickly calms down) Benson: '''No. You know what? I blame myself. I should've known better than to trust you two morons with such a straightforward task. You obviously need supervision. '''Muscle Man: Super-what-now? Benson: (picks up walkie-talkie on the golf cart) Mordecai, Rigby, Wally, get down here! I need you to watch over Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost. Wally: (over microphone) We'll be right there. Muscle Man: What?! High-Five Ghost: No way! (drops the part of the tree he has onto the ground) ''You can't stick us with Mordecai, Rigby, and Wally! Those guys are turds! '''Muscle Man:' Wally has the combined intelligence of bread-mold! Come on, Benson. Give us one more chance. Benson: No more chances! I'm sending you to the nursery to pick up another lemon tree. If you screw up again, I'll have Mordecai, Rigby and Wally supervise the next job. Then the next job, and the next. Get it?! Muscle Man: Yes. Um, yes, sir. Benson: I'm sure. (Benson drives the cart as he and Skips leave) High-Five Ghost: Aw, man! Muscle Man: Ugh, this blows! You know what the worst is? High-Five Ghost: The smell? Muscle Man: No, dude. Those lame "my Uncle Roy" jokes Wally always tells. (Mordecai, Rigby and Wally drive up from over the hill) Wally: YEE-HAHS!!! Muscle Man: Great. (Mordecai, Rigby and Wally drive in) Mordecai: Well, well, well! Sounds like someone needs some supervision! Wally: You know who else needs supervision? MY UNCLE ROY! Haha, yeah! (M,R&W high-five eachother) ''Now gets in the back so we can supervise yous. ''(M,R&W, MM&HFG are now in the golf cart together. Loud music blares) Wally: WHOOOOO!!! Oh, yeah. This song rocks. You know who else rocks this hard? MY UNCLE ROY! Muscle Man: I don't know how long I can take this. High-Five Ghost: I know dude but if we don't pull this off... Muscle Man: Aw, sick. (Rigby's crack is seen) Rigby: I love this tasty lick! Muscle Man: That's it! I'm jumping! High-Five Ghost: No dude. Don't worry. There's the nursery. This will all be over soon. (Cart passes the nursery) Whoa! Dudes! (looks back at the nursery) You just passed the nursery! Mordecai: Pull your panties out of your butt, Muscle Man! He knows a shortcut! High-Five Ghost: But it was right there! Wally: Who's supervising this mission!? WE, that's whos! So, shut your word-hole, I'm listening to my jamses! (Cart stops in the middle of a forest) Muscle Man: What!? Where are we? Why are we stopping? Wally: It's lunchtime! (points to burger stand) ''This place has the best burgers in the city! (chuckles)'' You know who else has the best burgers in the city? High-Five Ghost: Dude, Benson will blow a fuse if he finds out we were slacking off! Mordecai: You know who else would blow a fuse if he found out we were slacking off? Muscle Man: We don't have time for this! Rigby: You know who else doesn't have time for this? (MM&HFG moan) '' '''Wally:' You know who else says "Ugh"? MY UNCLE ROY! Hyah! (M,R&W high five again) Muscle Man: Can we please get lunch'' after'' we pick up the tree? Wally: No can do. Mordecai and Rigby have gots to have their burgers! Watch this! (picks up walkie-talkie) Yo, Benson, we gonna pull over and grab some grub, okay bro? Benson: ''(over microphone)'' Go for it. I know you guys will get it done. Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost: Woah! High-Five Ghost: Benson is never that cool with us! Wally: What? Don't you guys check in? Muscle Man: Uh, no. Wally: You gotta check in! Benson's the boss. He needs to know where you are at all freaking timewads! WHOOOOO, LET'S EATWOOD! High-Five Ghost: How come you never check in?'' (High-Five punches Muscle Man)'' Joshua the Gladiator: Mordecalls! Rigbone! Wall-Street Wally!'' (Joshua the Gladiator high fives Rigby)'' I haven't seen you guys in weeks. Who are those dinkwads? (MM&HFG stand there) Wally: Just some chumps we're supervising. We gotta make sure they're doing right. Joshua the Gladiator: '''I feel sorry for you creeps. '''Mordecai: You know who Wally feels sorry for? HIS UNCLE ROY! Joshua the Gladiator, Mordecai, Rigby and Wally: OHHHHH! (Rigby shakes the stand) High-Five Ghost: OHHH! (Muscle Man punches him) Ow! (M,R,W and Josh laugh) Joshua the Gladiator: Here's your round 'o burgers, fries and nuggets, for makin' me laugh! (Joshua high fives Mordecai) Muscle Man: Aw, what? You actually thought that was funny? High-Five: I guess Wally is really insulting himself. (clock transition to the forest, moments later. Wally is drinking a soda) Muscle Man: It's getting late. Shouldn't we be at the nursery by now? Wally: (Stops drinking his beverage) Chillax, Mordecai's on it. (Rigby opens the engine cover) He knows how to hot-wire the cart, to make it go crazy-fast. You know who taught Mordecai to hot-wire the cart to get away with slacking off at work and not get in trouble with the boss? (pauses) My mom, Delilah. She's a mechanic. High-Five Ghost: ...That's cool. Wally: You know who taught her!? MY UNCLE ROY! YES! (M,R&W high five eachother a third time. MM&HFG look at each' other and get on the cart)'' Let's ride, jerkwads! (Later, they're all in the cart together as Mordecai disobeys a railroad sign and jumps right over a moving train) '''Muscle Man: The road's back there! Wally: Don't tell us where the road is, jerkwad! (drives into puddle, over a rocky road, runs over traffic cones and jumps the car again) Mordecai, Wally, Rigby and High-Five Ghost: 'WHOOOOO! ''(they pass a police car. The cop watches. The golf cart is reflected on his sunglasses. He drives up to the golf cart) '''Police Officer: '''Yo, Wally! You know how to break the law in all the right ways! '''Police Officer and Wally: ''(high-five) WHOOOOO! WHOOOOO! '''Muscle Man:' What was that? High-Five Ghost: This is awesome! (the cart stops at the nursery) Wally: We're here. (clock transition to MM&HFG lifting up a lemon tree inside the nursery) What are you doing? You're trying to throw your backs out? You don't lift it like that. That's what Bobby's for. Hey, yo, Bobby! (Bobby appears) Bobby here lifts like a chimp. (short silence) Hey Bobby, you know who else lifts like a chimp? MY UNCLE ROY! (Bobby laughs, high-fives Mordecai and Rigby and picks up the tree) High-Five Ghost: What? Muscle Man: Dude, I think Mordecai, Rigby and Wally are actually kinda cool! Wally: Lift with the legs, Bobby! The legs! Like my Uncle Roy! Bobby: (laughing) 'Yo killin' me, man! Muscle Man: 'Yeah, I don't know about that. ''(cut to the road) ''Well, I'm glad this is finally over. '''High-Five Ghost: '''Come on, it wasn't-- ''(Muscle Man looks back) 'Muscle Man: '''Bro! You just passed the park! '''Wally: '''What's the hurry, grampa? We have all day, let's have some fun! '''Muscle Man: '''Ugh! '''High-Five Ghost: '''Come on, dude, just give him a chance! ''(begin a montage set to the song "Nothing But a Good Time" by Poison. It starts at the arcade, where Mordecai, Rigby, Wally and High-Five Ghost play Giganto-Fist. Wally looks over at Muscle Man, and shows him a quarter. He inserts it into the machine, which attracts Muscle Man to play. Next is at the movie theater. The slime monster reaches out for the girl in the red dress. The crowd is shown, all wearing 3D glasses. Wally gives Muscle Man some popcorn, which he eats. Third up is at a bowling alley. Mordecai bowls a strike, and the gang all cheers for him. Wally and High-Five Ghost high five eachother several times, followed by one final four-way high-five. The montage ends with Mordecai driving the golf cart) 'Muscle Man: '''Dude, Wally's pretty cool. All except for those "my Uncle Roy" jokes. Dude, I'm gonna to say something. '''High-Five Ghost: '''No, don't! Don't try to change Wally, it's not cool! '''Wally: '''Hey, guys! We haven't had quality bro time like this in ages. We should do this all the time. I know I mess around a lot, but you guys are the best. ''(pause) ''Hey, Muscle Man, you know who else messes around a lot? ''(Muscle Man frowns. In slow motion, says it:) MY UNCLE ROY! (laughs) '''Muscle Man: '''Bro, you're saying it wrong. '''High-Five Ghost: '''Muscle Man! '''Wally: '''What was that, bro? '''Muscle Man: '''Dude, that joke doesn't even make any sense. Whenever you say stuff like that, you're making fun of your own mom. ''(Mordecai starts freaking out) ''It should be "your Uncle Roy", not "my Uncle Roy". '''Wally: ''(reflects in mirror) What do you even mean? '''Muscle Man: '''Well, for example, you know who else has a gap in their teeth? YOUR UNCLE ROY! ''(Rigby tries to stop him) ''Or, you know who else is prematurely balding? YOUR UNCLE ROY! High-Five Ghost, help me out. '''High-Five Ghost: '(thinks) ''You know who else finds their clothes it the garbage? YOUR UNCLE ROY! '''Muscle Man: '''You know who else lives in their car? YOUR UNCLE ROY! ''(Wally looks around) High-Five Ghost: '''You know who else has fat ankles? YOUR UNCLE ROY! '''Muscle Man: '''You know who else can't tell who's-- '''Wally: '''AAAUUUGGGHHH! ''(brakes) ''Are you making fun of my Uncle Roy?! You're making fun of my Uncle Roy!'' ''No one makes fun of my Uncle Roy! '''Wally's Mom: ''(over microphone) My eldest son! My ears are ringing! Is someone making fun of your Uncle Roy? '''Wally: '''Yeah, they are, Mom! '''Wally's Mom: '(over microphone) ''Oh no, son! '''Wally: '''I know, mom! '''Wally's Mom: '(over microphone) ''That's it! I'm coming up there! ''(MM&HFG get scared) Wally: 'You dinkweeds are about to wish you were never born! GET OUT OF THE CART! ''(MM&HFG do so) ''You're gonna get it! Nobody makes fun of Uncle Roy! Nobody! ''(huffs and puffs. Then, all of a sudden, the ground splits. A burning truck emerges from the ground. Wally's Mom steps out) 'Wally's Mom: '''Which one of you dinkweeds was talking about Uncle Roy?! ''(points at High-Five Ghost) ''Was it you, Dumbbell? ''(knocks him over and goes to Muscle Man) ''Or you, fathead? ''(pushes him, too) 'Muscle Man: '''We were just-- '''Wally's Mom: '''So it was both of you! '''Wally: '''I think they hurt Uncle Roy's feelings, mom! '''Wally's Mom: '''You hurt our Uncle Roy's feelings! ''(lifts up picture) ''Pay him a compliment, tell him he's awesome! TELL HIM! '''High-Five Ghost: '''Uh, you're awesome, Wally's Uncle Roy. '''Wally: '''Now, kiss the photo and say your sorry! ''(Mom holds photo to Muscle Man's face) 'Muscle Man: '''Sorry. ''(kisses photo) '''High-Five Ghost: ''(kisses photo) Sorry! '''Wally: '''Now, fire up the grill, Mom. (Mom puts a grill on the ground, lights it ablaze, and Wally comes up to put the photo on the grill. The mom flips it, and then hands it to Wally) Eat this picture of Uncle Roy, or you'll be sorry! '''Muscle Man: '''Please, don't make us eat the picture! '''Wally: '''EAT THE FREAKING PICTURE OR ELSE I'LL RIP THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU FREAKIN' JERKWADS!!! ''(rips photo in half, then hands the halves to MM&HFG. High-Five Ghost bites into his half first, then Muscle Man. Wally and his mom laugh at them. Mordecai and Rigby step out from behind the bush) Rigby: '''You should have seen the look on your faces! '''Mordecai: '''We got you good! '''High-Five Ghost: '''What? '''Wally: '''It was all a prank and you chimp chomp chumps fell for it! ''(they high five eachother and laugh once again.) ''That's not even a picture of Uncle Roy! ''(MM&HFG put the two halves together) ''It's a picture of Mom's buttcheek! She just squished it up to look like a man's face! '''Muscle Man: ''(as MM&HFG are disgusted) Aw, sick! '''Wally: '''Are you still hungry? Cause I got multiple prints! That's right! Mom's an expert at downloading photography! ''(M,R&W, as well as the mom, four-way high five. Clock transition to park) Benson: 'Thanks for picking up this tree. I knew I could trust you three. ''(to MM&HFG) ''As for you two, the next time I tell you to do something, do it right, or I'll have you supervised again. Got it? ''(Benson and Skips walk off) 'Wally: '''You know who else is going to have to get supervised again for not doing it right? ''(He's seen twirling his handbag around while on top the cart) ''MY UNCLE ROY! ''(Mordecai and Rigby start driving the cart around) ''WHOOOOO! See ya later, gators! ''(they drive off) 'High-Five Ghost: '''I really hate Wally. '''Muscle Man: '''You know who else really hates Wally? ''(end of '"My Mom")'' Category:Regular Show